The Geeks Guide to Step Daddery: Schools Out For Summer

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So, if this is your first ‘summer with the kids’, get ready for it. It can be a very difficult time. Now, all of this is subject to situation, so I’m going to give you a couple of situations that came up for me. I’d say these are towards the worst of scenarios possible for a Step Dad to encounter early on.

Summer should be easy…
Ahhh, summer. The grass is growing over the top of the kids and the birds are pooping all over your freshly washed car. It must be summer-time whose only true downfall (besides heat, bug bites, and over grown grass) is that it lacks the sport of Football. (Sorry Baseball) So why should summer be so hard as a step-dad.

Because of real dad.

Now, you may or may not have a real dad in your family. He might even be there, but only once or twice a year. This particular scenario can be especially hard on a child depending on the age read dad left.

So, here now, is one HUGE rule when discussing real dad around the kids OOOOORRRRR your wife. I mean, seriously. Breaking this rule TOO MANY TIMES is 99.9% of the time a bad bad bad bad REALLY bad idea. When the subject of real dad comes up either bashing or praising, unless he’s not there for some really bad reason (the guys who need to be neutered), YOU HAVE NO OPINION ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!

Really, if you take nothing else from this post, do NOT say anything bad about real dad.

So, why should we shy away from offering an opinion? I know you can get caught up in the heat of the moment. But there are 2 big reasons not to in this case. The first, most obvious, is the kids themselves.

Ok, if you say this in front of your kids, no matter how much they say they don’t like going over there, it will affect them. And whats worse is, you may subconsciously be TRYING to affect them. Maybe, you think, if they hear MORE about how bad real dad is they will see it and then see how nice I am trying to be and “I will be the victor”… And its ok if you have thought this before, because it went through my mind, and yes came out a couple of times.

Possibly the best way to illustrate this point is with Christmas/Birthdays. If you ARE competitive, you have probably already made sure your kids presents from you and mom were WAY COOLER than what real dad got. You may not point this out to your kids, but you probably have to your wife.

The second thing you should know about saying something about real dad in front of them is, they will tell. You might as well call game on at this point because now he is bashing you to them and its WAY MORE EFFECTIVE from his side. Whether true or not, none of this matters. If you never hear a kid scream at you the words “Well my REAL Dad said” then you are one of the lucky ones (but not like the lucky one in the Lucky One which you had to watch with your wife) and you should savor the moment.

But my wife is ALWAYS bashing him, why shouldn’t I say something then?
There was a reason your wife was with this man prior to you. Whether good or bad reason there was a reason. And while she has obviously moved on she still remembers the good times. She will remember the time he carved a pumpkin with her oldest son. Or the time he took the kids to the water park. And these may have even been the ONLY two good things she can honestly remember but she does. If you say anything you can expect, “Well, he wasn’t ALWAYS bad. He has his moments with the kids.”

This comes down to another rule I hope you already know. When your wife is venting about something that ISN’T you, just listen and show empathy. If your wife gets mad at you every time you are consoling you during one of these stress rants, just be quiet next time. Then give her a hug, probably end up holding her here, possibly for quite awhile. This is a great time to let the kids watch their own shows after she is done venting (if it were an inappropriate rant). Do all of this and you could be rewarded. Throw in an offer to cook dinner and you are superman. You could screw up the rest of the week and it’d be ok because THIS is your grand slam for the week. (By the way, the comedians are right… If she IS complaining about you… just apologize. Figure out what it is you ‘did’ and apologize. Move on… not worth it.)

Ok, so I’m not talking about him, that’s not so bad…
You’re right. The first part is pretty easy. Of course, its also a year round possibility. Summer brings… duh duh duhhhhhh… Summer visits. [your summer visit results may vary] Really, your summer visits could be 2 weeks, 4 non consecutive, 6 consecutive, 2 on 2 off 2 on 2 off etc… There are a lot of possibilities which are mainly governed by one major factor, distance to the real dad. You see, if he is close and take full rights, he may get half the summer, but it might be split up. He may get consecutive 6 weeks, but if he’s in town and your step daughter misses her mom (she will) she could come home for a weekend. Real dad will enjoy time with the boys watching gory movies your wife disapproves of.

On the other hand, if he lives half way across the nation, its a chore and chunk of change to transport the children. Chances are he gets them for 6 weeks consecutive, all mom can do to help her little girl is listen to her cry on the phone, try to calm her down, and then cry when she gets off the phone. (And begin holding her again now.)

This is, if you’ve gotten that far. See, the first day the kids are gone and you are home alone with your wife is bitter sweet. She wants to enjoy the kids being gone, but she still cries a lot. She misses her babies. From my experiences and observations this is FAIRLY universal. Degrees of emotion can vary, but it is typically there.

So, a lot of being there for her during the summer. And you should be, this is an important stage, especially the first couple of years you are together. It is a summer of a constant roller coaster of emotions for her and your demeanor can help a little or hurt a lot.

The kids are coming home now, school starts back in a couple of weeks… its all over then?
Kids coming home from real dads are different than the kids that left. Your rules were structured, there was routine, there was consequence, and there was an amount of censorship.

When they got to Dads, there WERE no rules. They could do ANYTHING.
There was no ‘bedtime’… they could sleep in all day if you want, stay up til 3 AM… its OK.
You can’t have consequences if you don’t have rules to start with.
Oh, and your 6 year old step-daughter? Yeah, she watched Saw.

Ages 3 to 9 or 10: Routine is the biggest thing to work on when the kids get back. Don’t wait until school starts, start going an hour earlier each week. Discipline is going to be hard to bring back in at this stage. No matter the age you should re-establish the rules you had when they left. Remember not to just ‘tell’ them the rules, have an open discussion about it, leading off with ‘lets refresh all of us on what we had agreed on’.

As for little Susie, she’s going to have nightmares. She’s could be in bed with mom or asleep in the hallway by the time you head to bed. Don’t ask her to leave the hallway, mom probably already knows by the time you inform her. This is another stage in Susies life, it will eventually pass. Relax, breathe, be patient.

Ages 10+: Alright, chances are your older kids knew dad real well before he left and they looked up to him a lot, no matter what their mom says. 13 year old bobby will come home and tell you everything ‘Dad said’ about you being with mom. If he isn’t outwardly vocal about it, he may be stewing over it in his head. Everything you’ve done to Bobby that he didn’t like got relayed to real Dad and Real Dad sided with his son (as would be expected) and gave Bobby plenty of cannon fodder to use at home. Bobby is now more defiant and always angry. He is increasingly violent at home and school. He hates you and wants you out and screams it to you AND his mother on a regular basis. You’re up. On two, seeeet HIKE!

Ok, that sounds kinda crummy…
Why yes, yes it does. This is an extreme example however the behavior can be found in many more homes than just this one when you get into cases of ADHD, Aspergers/Autism, or any other of a number of common behavioral disorders of which affect families across the world. I actually have a section on that planned, for now, go back to basics and keep quiet. Let mom handle it. If you are asked to intervene make sure you take a few deep breaths and verify that your emotions are not part of what your doing.

If your emotions are driving you at all during times like this, basically if you really WANT to punish him for what he said (cause it could be REALLY bad) then you should specifically NOT do it. Wait until everyone is calm, send people to their respective corners to cool off and then re-approach. The simple fact is if you were to EVER have a chance to turn out to be one of the guys on ‘Cops’ that is screaming ‘I didn’t hit you that hard’ its chances are greatest in this moment. Back away and save it for another day.

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The Geeks Guide to Step Daddery: Special Needs Part 1

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ADD, ADHD, Anxiety, Aspergers Syndrome , Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Mental Retardation…

No, I’m not reading a Medical Text, but it could easily resemble many stat charts depicting what is a rise in the most common conditions your new step-child could very possible have. Add on to that depression and other things that may stem from anything like stress from the divorce of their parents to abuse.

Let me just say this up front, if you are not a ‘kid-person’ or you are impatient and you are dating a person with a special needs child you seriously need to think about what you want. Because it is not easy. If she has told you stories about some of the worst times and gives you a real sense of how bad it can be, multiply it by ten, because when you are in those intense and stressful situations reality is a total buzz-kill.

If you are already deep in the situation, fear not, you can prevail. There are techniques to make it easier to deal with all of them, although to varying degrees of success and effectiveness.

Here we will look at two very different examples each with different challenges, aspergers and ADHD.

What is aspergers?
This is a common question which I will give a rough idea of here. If you have an aspergers child in your life, I suggest following this text up with a google search for the condition and specialized programs and services that may be available in your area.

Aspergers is a form of autism and undeveloped or poor social abilities. Understanding sarcasm, inflections, facial queues and more are the biggest problems while angry outbursts can accompany. Lets start with social cues and communication.

Aspergers: Communication
Inability to read body language coupled with a lack of focus from often being ‘in their own world’ lead to problems if you were to speak to your child with Aspergers compared to any of your other children. This can often surprise some people as Hyperlexia, a ‘little professor’ syndrome in which they pick up and use big words very early in life. But your child may not understand when you tell him to go heat something up in the microwave for 1 minute. Let me clear that up a bit, he UNDERSTANDS, but it doesn’t register. He may say ok, do a 360, then ask “wait, what was I supposed to do again.”  That is literal, it really happens. And while any of your other children might do it once before they finally listen, he could do it 3 or 4 times.

So, this is common and annoying but fairly easy to deal with. You know the 2 minute rule with children? No? Read the section on Game Time. Basically, you have about 2 minutes to speak before a child starts to tune you out. (Your results may vary) And its not good to go much over the 2 minutes. If their mind wanders too much after you made your initial point, they will forget it. Its a simple concept, but improbable to perfect. When you are about to speak something important to your child that they NEED to hear and understand, do the following.

- Get Their Attention
- Speak clearly
- Ask child what you said
- Ask if they understand
- Praise anytime the job is done or progressing.

Getting attention is a bit of an art with any child, but more so here. The first thing you should know is that forcing your child to look at you dead in the eyes, especially grabbing the face to make them look at you, does not actually help in anyway unless your intent is to simply scare. While scaring may seem like an easy quick fix, it is further ineffective the more it is done. This being because they get used to the initial gesture so to be scary you have to get MORE forceful… and you are having to get more forceful because they won’t do what you want them to do because you taught them to do it when they got scared. (Example of life long effects: Think of the man or woman who only really cleans the house when they are nervous or upset)

Typically with the children with Aspergers scaring them can actually shut them down quickly reducing them to a puddle of tears or enrage them to Hulk-like proportions.

Your child will look around, they will gaze at their shoes or do some mummy/yoga impression until their head falls behind their back and stares at the front door behind them. THIS PART, is FINE. Relax. Do the steps above and it won’t matter if they are looking at you. Is it an important trait to understand eventually? For the most part, yes, but this comes more naturally at later ages and is a lot easier to teach than right now when your unfocused child whom your wife tells you is also more hyper than usual because of the Red Kool-Aid. Don’t worry, its not a cult thing.

The more important thing is what their attention is actually on which may or may not be obvious by where there eyes are. Children with AS typically find a subject or hobby and focus on it all waking hours for weeks, months, sometimes the rest of their lives and gather MORE. My son started on Dinosaurs. He wanted dinosaur toys, books, movies, everything. And he didn’t just LOOK at them, mind you, if he couldn’t read it he’d ask you and remember. To this day he is a wealth of knowledge about the creatures that used to get him crazy looks of “how do you know that” when he was 3.

He moved on to Lego’s (Well, Mega Blocks at first) after I showed him how to build a house.

You see, he had his blocks and he comes up to me and hands me a stack of them. They are all very neatly stacked, one on top of another like a big tower of 1×1 blocks. He smiles and says, “Look Josh (This was before I was Dad to him and The Geek to everyone here) I made a house.” I smiled and said, wow that’s cool, want me to show you how to make it even better?” He shook his head in excitement and I got on the floor and played with him for probably 30 mins or so and showed him how to alternate the stacking of the blocks to make them like bricks, and hence make a wall.

Well, he picked that up very well. He started making 3D trucks and cars and tanks and, you know it, dinosaurs. So where did this take him besides a love for just about anything build-able made by the Lego Company, let me tell you…

One day, when my Son was 8, he walked in with this large block of Legos he’s put together and says, “Dad, is this what a helicopter looks like?” This boy had put together a quite well made cockpit portion of a helicopter. I told him, “This is great, if you add a couple of rotors and the landing gear, it’d look spot on.” So, this led to an explanation of what a rotor does, which he picked up on quickly and I offered to show him a picture of a helicopter from the internet. (Google is my friend) He looks at it for about 2 minutes… He then takes his blocks away to return about 45 minutes later. The helicopter now had a proper tail and rear rotor, the top rotor was 4 pronged and size appropriate. The landing gear was a classic sled style. The helicopter it was was mostly white and blue with some random yellows thrown in where you could tell he didn’t have the right color piece, hence the story of the rainbow colored main rotor. But the sleds, they were done with extra care, he knew he had those pieces in the right colors. It was red and white striped like a candy cane, he happily exclaimed to me.

Now, I was already impressed. Then he set it down and said, ‘Now WATCH THIS’, and he flicked each rotor with either hand and they both started spinning. I was floored. The helicopter was probably about 20 inches long and 8 to 10 inches high. Unfortunately the pictures of this build and many others were lost when my house was robbed and my computer was stolen. But *I* at least have the memories. Hey, haven’t we talked about there are rewards to getting to know, care about, and spend time with your children? This is one of them here and the biggest for me. Those two memories, along with a set of select others, are my greatest memories in life. Its something you don’t realize until WAY later so its easy to have too few, or worse, miss out entirely.

So, the main point of the story is that these children who are normally bouncing all over the place and not paying attention can focus all of their brain on this one thing, IF, they like it. (That’s important later) So, the first step in getting them to listen to you is to get them to stop what they are doing for a moment. Get them away from it and ask them to take a deep breath, make sure you don’t just rush into what you want to say. They need to clear at least part of their head, if not then after you ask them to repeat what you said they will just start talking about their one ‘thing’ which for me was often the legos or the Dinosaurs.

This is REALLY frustrating and annoying at times. It’s important, MORE THAN EVER, you HAVE to take a breath, relax, be patient. Hear them out (their version of venting), acknowledge it, try again.

When you speak to them, if there are too many steps in what you want them to do, break it up into smaller steps, 1 or 2 at a time, have them go do that and come back, then tell them the next two. This is VITAL for cleaning their room, which we will get to in a later part, but also for many other things as well and will simply save lots of time and headache medicine each time.

So, that’s one part of communication, but what about when they’ve done something wrong? Not just forgot to wash their hands but if they got in a fight and expelled from school. Or what if he just lost or broke one of his toys, one of his 100′s, he is freaking out and cussing and screaming because he lost the toy.

Putting something large into perspective is in itself a small lesson in child psychology but lets simplify it by using a real life example. My son got expelled from school for fighting. When he got home he was yelling and screaming at his mom and saying it was all her fault that he couldn’t do anything and he f*@king hated her. She asked me to call him and see if I could talk any sense into him. Here is what I did.

First I asked him how he was doing, how his day was going. He initially said he was ok so I said I heard otherwise. Ok, he talks about his day a bit. I let him know I’m disappointed. This important, I love him, but I’m disappointed in his actions.

Second, I change the subject. If I just say, you did wrong, he won’t ever learn REALLY why. He doesn’t understand the consequences of all of his actions. In this instance, I asked him what he wanted to do when he grows up… he rattled off a few I’ve heard so many times before and one was join the army. Ahhhh, perfect. So, I start talking about the army, I ask him what they expect of you in the Army… eventually we come to the conclusion that you have to do what they tell you to do. (rules)

Third, I start looping back to the issue at hand. Do you think really good Army men started before they were in soldiers, with their mom and at school? Yeah… ok.

Fourth, make the link and point it out. So you can’t be in the Army if you don’t follow the rules, and that wouldn’t be good would it? No… So its probably not good to break rules now. And how do you think Mom feels about that?

Fifth, lead to an apology. You may end up having to tell them to apologize, but if you get to it the right way they will feel actually sorry when they do it. But make sure you give them a chance to say what they should do after talking about how they made their mom feel bad.

So, you see explaining something that takes this far over 2 minutes is to interject it with a subject you know they will pay attention to and tie some aspect of it to what the actual point of the conversation was in the first place. A big circle, start on the subject, in less than 2 minutes bring in their interest, come back around to the original subject. The change in the way they understand and behave afterwards will be fairly instantly noticeable.

(The last example above turned into a bit of an amalgam of a number of conversations with my son that were similar.)

Coming Soon: Special Needs Part 2

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The Geeks Guide to Step Daddery: Movie Time

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Family Movie Night. Whether it is once a week or every night, TV entertainment is a big part of modern family lives. A lot of books talk about cutting out or down on TV time I agree and disagree alike. It is important to spend some non-TV time with your kids. They like other things, do them. (See Bonding) But in modern families that watch lots of TV, this time can bring you all together just the same as a lot of other activities.

The actual downfall here is that really modern/connected families have many TV’s and end up in different rooms. What do we do?

Yeah, what do we do?

The Geeks Guide to Step Daddery: Game Time

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So, you like to play games. Board games? Video Games? Card Games? Whatever your bailiwick in the multi-player entertainment area, if you want to bond with your kids you will eventually need to show them some of the games you like.

(Please be aware of age appropriate material. Age appropriate can vary from child to child… this 9 year old may not be able to handle and understand video game violence while this 9 year old can. Speak with your partner about anything you are unsure of.)

For some reason, something that should be one of the most enjoyable and memorable moments of your childs life can be reduced to arguments and anxiety in a matter of minutes. This most often comes from not

The Geeks Guide to Step Daddery: Bedtime

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So, you’ve made it through the day and everyone has remained relatively happy and peaceful. You spent some good time together watching a kids movie (and you were NOT on the computer, and your wife wasn’t on facebook, and your kids weren’t texting… I know, I know… in a perfect world), the kids did most of almost all of their chores, and there was only one episode with an angry teen who wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead of spaghetti. Now, only one simple task remains, get the kids to bed.

The Geeks Guide to Step Daddery: Discipline

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Ahhh, the good times of parenthood are quickly forgotten when he starts being a little hellion. And as a step parent, the real issue of discipline lies not between the father and daughter, but rather the parents themselves.

Yes, you have stepped into their world that was already assembled with no instruction manual included. Maybe you were raised in a strict household and she had no rules at all or vice versa, either way, et tu brute you both have different ideas of when to punish and when to let it slide.

The Geeks Guide to Step Daddery: Bonding

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Ah, quality time with a step-son or daughter. Does the thought make you nervous? Well, I’m here to tell you that you are not alone. There are others out there who may be successful in every part of his life, except when it comes to his step child.

Age can play a part in how you feel about spending time with your child, but often I have seen that a step dad simply may not know exactly where to begin. Age and situation can simply make it harder to do what you may not already know how to do.

So where do you begin? What great wise words can I utter to make this young one like me, let alone love me. Why is he so angry? Why is she so distant? These are common questions and serve a point, lets focus on the child first.

Step 1: Learn about your new family member

This is fairly easy and depending on how long you’ve known your child you may already have a pretty good idea. You should know the basics..

- Favorite TV Show
- Favorite movie / movie series
- Favorite Band
- Favorite Book
- Favorite Activity (Sports? music? Etc)
- Favorite School Subject
- Least Favorite School Subject
- Favorite Game(s)

Of course, all of these are ‘if applicable’ and are just the building blocks for learning about and bonding with her, and I am specifically omitting smaller yet often important other items such as favorite color or flower because, while very helpful when choosing gifts, are things that can be harder to remember.

Which brings me to…

Step 2: Spend time talking about the things they like.

It might be very difficult at first. These first few discussions could be very one sided. It is very important not to get angry or impatient with a step-son who may not respond or even appear to listen as you try to emulate that you want to know about something they like or, “worse”, actually enjoy things they like.

Ages 3 to 6: Just talk to your child. Let them know you are not just a quiet ogre with a goatee, speak and let YOUR guard down.

Ages 7 to 10: There will be a big thing in their life. A TV Show, a favorite sport, video game, toy, SOMETHING. Find it, learn about it (If you need, remember, Google is always your friend. Yes, it sucks to feel old because  you have to google what the kids are saying so you can understand them.)

Ages 11+: So, now they may have 1 big thing in their life, or 20. While it’s easier to find something you have in common, it is harder for them to open up. Stand your ground, simply talk passionately about your experiences in said interest. You may have to have several of these seemingly selfish discussions and it is best if you can split up the early awkward discussions among a number of his likes. Again, you need to let your guard down, understand its awkward for them too, and BE PATIENT!

 

Step 3: Spend time doing their favorite things with them.

Ages 3 to 6: Does she play with dolls? Does he build with Bionicle and Lego pieces? Get down on the floor and play with them. Not just for 5 minutes, for a long time. Pick up a piece they aren’t playing with and… well… PLAY! Have fun. Build something of your own and show it to him… can he improve on it? Can you show him how you did it? Or, more often, can he show you how he built his monstrosity of mini modern marvel engineering? Do you like your tea hot or cold? extra sugar? Better think about it, answer accordingly, drink your tea and whether you like it or not, thank your hostess for such a wonderful time.
Really, these scenarios rank as some of my favorite memories. When you start here, and build a relationship, years later you will look back and love these moments.

Ages 7 to 10: Again, they probably have one BIG thing. Do it with them. Do they play soccer/baseball/basketball/football/cheerleading? Watch them practice whether you know about the sport or not. Praise them when they do well. And make time to go see them when they do it ‘for real’ at the boys/girls club or school. TV show? Watch it with her, even if its girly. LOWER YOUR GUARD! Your efforts will not go unnoticed.

Ages 11+: This can be harder… if they have one big thing, see the ages 7 to 10 section and remember to BE PATIENT. Be around them as they do what they love… build a comfort level one step at a time. But, as in all scenarios, the point is to do what they like.

Step 4: Do it again.

The worst thing you can do at this point is be inconsistent or even give up. You have a family and you need to make time for them all, if this isn’t something you already do it will need to be a life change because this needs to be sincere. Not to mention the most important part.

If you have gotten this far I assume you have or are deciding to be a better parent. If so, spend time with your family. As much as possible. Are you always saying ‘Go play in your room’ or ‘Go play outside’ or ‘My show is on we are watching it’…

These kids will not always be around… not only do they grow up, sometimes your family can be ripped away. Being a step-parent getting close to the children is walking deciding to take a leap of the cliffs of love and not just view it from above. If you all split there is a great chance you won’t see or talk to those kids again. Make it count… make it memorable.

Step 5: Share your interests.

All of these steps could start and finish in one day… More often than not, however, it can take months or even years to build up a close relationship with a step child. You will make mistakes but that’s ok. You get rewarded for your efforts by a young impressionable mind who can become fascinated over something you love. (Keyword = CAN)

Ages 3 to 6: Do you play an instrument? Play for them. Paint pictures? Well you should have been doing this with them at step 3. Play a video game? Play with them. And when you do let them be bad at it. Don’t jump in and control it for them or get upset, sit back, relax, laugh, and assist, rinse and repeat. Also, at age 3, give them their own controller that isn’t plugged in. (Side note, just like when a child finds out their is no Santa, it can be a sad day when a young boy realizes he was not the one to make the Master Chief jump the Warthog over the broken bridge)

Ages 7 to 10: See above, this time though, if you have an instrument, let them play along. They may have an instrument or you can get them interested in what you play. Whats our motto with any activity though? BE PATIENT!

Ages 11+: Again, they may not like what you do, they may scoff, they may make fun of you. Its ok… they are having a hard time too, remember? Relax, BE PATIENT! And if it turns out they actually think its cool you can go back to my last paragraph… get them involved.

All of these steps and their lengths and difficulty levels vary based on situation and age but the two simple rules remain.

- Be There and let your guard down
- Be Patient.

Btw, if I haven’t mentioned to be patient, BE PATIENT! Happy parenting!

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The Geek Gets Spaced

Some people may label me with that classic phrase, ‘He only likes ‘x’ until everyone else likes it’. The reason that a lot of people get this label because when one, any single one of their interests becomes mainstream they utter the words ‘I liked them before they were famous’ to anyone who brings up the subject.

 

Let me be an honest geek for a minute… I have said these words. Some of the times, I am not so proud of. A lot of them, however, I can explain.

 

Sometimes, geeks (And the indie goth peeps) are frustrated, by the time some things go mainstream. Why? Because a year or two ago, that geek came to you and said ‘you have GOT to see this, its amazing. I don’t understand why its not more popular.’

And you, with possibly little to no enthusiasm to watch or listen or read give a half hearted try to give it a shot but it’s new and weird and you aren’t into it.

Before you say I’m just putting down those people, understand that I have been on both sides. I have been the person who cared and the person who didn’t want to hear what other weird stuff this person was into. I am certainly just as guilty.

So, by the time this is mainstream, now you like it. They remember but you do not the time or times they talked about them, played them for you, made you read it.

It is we, too indolent and afraid to change, who will slow the evolution of technology and laud consumerism over advancement.

(by the by, you can thank the majority of people not liking something new to the law of diffusion of innovation.)

 

So, I bring to you today, another show you’ve probably never heard of. In the annuls of under watched great shows, a number have gone down as just being ‘ahead of their time.’ In my eyes, that is Spaced.

 

Spaced is a British sitcom that ran from 1999 to 2001 featuring writer/stars Simon Pegg and Jessica Stevenson and directed by the amazing Edgar Wright.

The show features a very cinematic direction (filmed on one camera), and numerous pop culture references in genre direction, plot style, props and surroundings, cut scenes, and dialogue. A classic example has him referencing a ‘falling out with a loved one’ turning out to be George Lucas and him burning all of his Star Wars items.

The show would be inspiration for great movies for these people as well as co-star Nick Frost, including Hot Fuzz and the iconic Shaun of the Dead. Jessica Stevenson playing the militant counter-part that Pegg and his crew ran into throughout the film.

The show is intelligent and fast paced with layers of jokes rather than a traditional ‘situation’ lauded by new people.

 

Bottom line, if you’re looking for quirky, tongue in cheek, geeky and cinematic, British TV Show to hit-up on Netflix, Spaced is a good option.

The Geek Imitates: PouringMyArtOut

They say imitation is a form of flattery. In that case, PMAO, begin to feel flattered.

After cleaning my kitchen about an hour ago I felt great. (Nothing like the smell of a nice clean kitchen to wake you up at 11PM.) And I was thinking about your ninja series and the idea of an everyday ninja. I know you work hard on your blog, so I thought I’d help out. Here, just for you, is my ninja business man.

“Whether he is performing cut backs, slashing the budget, or out on the town for a little romance and assassination, he will always look his best. The ‘Metro’ from Japan-o … ITS NINJA BUSINESSMAN!!!”

Ok, maybe I went a bit far… but if you haven’t seen it, go check out PMAO’s Ninja work… No really, it sneaks up on you.

The Geek Gets Mindless

If you haven’t figured this out by now, or are new to my blog, WELCOME!, I am very eclectic. From things I like to listen to, watch, read, or learn I love all sorts of things. And while I love entertainment, I love things that expand my mind and my understanding of the world.

From TedTalks to documentaries to programming and physics, I love to learn things I don’t already know. And I like to think my love for always bettering myself comes through in my writing. I try to write things that are entertaining AND thought provoking.

And boy does that get old.

Yes, whether it is just a long day at work or just feeling tired I occasionally feel the need to simply watch or do something completely mindless. So here, for your non-thought provoking entertainment is my edition of “Mindless Monday.” For Mindless Monday I am going to present you with a number of facts. Are they true facts? That’s for you to decide… but here you go.

 

1. While rummaging through the local Vintage store the Geek stumbled across and purchased TMBG’s classic LP, “John Henry”

2. The Geek has been to the top of the John Hancock tower.

3. British accents are hot.

4. Plan 9 came from outer space.

5. Samsung is the current leading sales manufacturer of smart phones.

6. Apple has an entire building designed after Scrooge McDucks money tower, and top VP’s swim in their vast fortune every weekend.

7. The Geek is the most eligible bachelor in the world right now. Disagree? Well then what makes one bachelor more eligible then another? Eligibility for marrying someone is an either/or thing, you don’t get MORE eligible just because you are rich and handsome. You just have a better chance of filling the opening in your 1 man corporation. I mean, really, if you have 2 cars that are both out of gas, which one is more eligible?

8. Warning Labels are written by failed novelists who have never used the product they are writing the label for and just like messing with the world that doesn’t want to read what they have to say in the first place.

9. 2+2 = 5   … and if you believe that can be true, you are a geek friend of mine.

10. No one can eat 50 eggs.