To Lie For Love

In talking about love being the one constant and unabashed truth in the mortal world it would make sense to start at the opposite of truth, lies.

I have looked up the top 10 reasons people lie (at least one of 100 such lists, so your search results may vary), so let’s look at a few and compare them to love being the real truth behind the lie.

Number 1 reason people lie: To please others
It comes as no real surprise that the most common ‘admitted’ reason for lying is to please someone. In other words, the new bowl haircut looks great, you can’t notice the mustard stain on your butt, and your breath totally doesn’t smell like the garlic cheese fries you had for lunch. On an unrelated subject, if you want to talk to someone you should call them for the rest of the day.
It also comes as no real shocker that the reason for doing this is love. You simply care about someone too much to be worried about petty things or to hurt their feelings over something you find trivial. We may disregard their feelings in the process and not question whether they actually want truth, but overall we want them to feel as good about themselves as we do.

Number 2 reason people lie: To cover your past
This is where we quickly start getting into a harder connection. At the very edge of the reason for this lie is because we don’t to embarrass ourselves but then that immediately goes into wanting people to like us. If we weren’t concerned about love and affection or, in this case, the approval of others, we wouldn’t mind telling people our darkest secrets.
If we go a little deeper, we can start to look at what those secrets are and the reason behind them. Likely a dark past is another indicator of a lack of love or a lack of positive love.
Since the people you surround yourself with can and will often dictate your future even if you are surrounded by people who like and care about you they may still get you into trouble. Often though, we find these people are not really as concerned about us as we think and they may sell us out when the opportunity presents itself because their real love lies in themselves, which is also the number 7 reason people lie: to avoid punishment.

Numbers 5 and 6 reason we lie: To boast and to get benefits (respectively)
The love of oneself over everyone else will quickly fill you with pride when someone pays attention to you or gives you the credit you are asking for. But this pride is a shallow love that will deflate quickly when the persons attention turns away from you. This type of love is more like a drug than most as we want more and more attention and if we’ve had a lot as a child it’s almost impossible to stop.
Thus giving this type of love, attention for the sake of attention, is unhealthy to the person you are offering it to. Which ties in with…

Numbers 8 9 and 10 reason we lie: To fit in, To prove a point, to gain influence.
If we aren’t finding the attention we have gotten used to we now need to lie to seek favor with other groups of people. This turns into a vicious circle of self love and self loathing (Which we’ve discussed is more a lack of love than anything) as we lie to get praise and then lie to fit in with more people who will give us praise.
This, of course, lends itself to the theory that one who does this can’t possibly love themselves no matter how narcissistic they may seem, but rather have a severe lack of love for their own personal being that leads them to seek attention and reassurance from unhealthy places. If we really were to love ourselves the way God loves us we wouldn’t feel the need to find such dark forms of social interaction.


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