Parentally Challenged

I’m going to say something taboo.

Parenting isn’t easy, it’s not always fun, and while I love them, I don’t always like my kids.

Stone me if you will but you were thinking the same thing and, if you weren’t, you’re either not yet a parent or only have one child.

Because let’s face it, we’ve all been at the point where it seems it would be much easier to simply sell the house, move out of state, and forget to tell the kids. (Note to DHS workers, I’M JUST KIDDING!)

We also all have those points where it’s REALLY hard to love our tween/teen and the quirks they obviously got from the other parent because I SURELY didn’t teach them to say that.

This is why it’s, in a way, easier to have more than one child so that when one of them makes you want to stab yourself with the spork from Taco Bell one of the others will do something cute and remind you that stabbing yourself with the spork from Taco Bell won’t solve anything since the spork breaks while eating a Taco Salad.

This also relates to why it’s obviously so much more awesome to be a grandparent than a parent. You get all the great moments, never have to be the bad guy, and in the end they always end up throwing their fits and crying in someone else’s house  while you watch The Amazing Race in peace without 400 questions.

And I’m going to say one more thing slightly outside the norm; our parents had it easier than we do.

Ok, maybe that’s more than slightly outside the norm but I believe this more and more every day. Granted, car rides are AMAZINGLY quiet with small screens keeping kids company these days and go to your room is easier to make happen when their room has more electronics than Radio Shack, HOWEVER, getting them off of those screens and into reality is harder than ever.

Recently I read a post on Facebook from some friends that read, “We are giving up cable and internet for the foreseeable future. You have 2 days to make sure we have your updated phone number. We want to make real memories and not ones involving TV or internet memes.”

My first reaction was, “That’s nice and all, but my families full of geeks,” at which time I had to remind myself that these people are geeks as well. But my second thought was a little closer to reality which was, ‘well yeah, but you don’t have a teenager.’

They are so cute at this age... Where does it go?

They are so cute at this age… Where does it go?

While these friends have a son he is not yet old enough to have become addicted to the intoxicating evil that is modern civilization. I wish them all the luck and know they will do great with it as I know what kinds of memories they are talking about and, even now, I love creating those same ones.

But what about the rest of us already deep inside the vast darkness with our tweens and teens faces lit by the soft glow of their new smart phones that they will break tomorrow?

Can we do it cold turkey? Can we stand to watch our children huddle in the corner in a cold sweat asking ‘why…why…why is real life so boring?’ as we huddle in the other corner going, ‘I don’t honestly remember it BEING this boring.’

I just don’t understand why it’s SO hard to get a child to look out a car window at the magnificent world that is passing them by. Anytime I hear a child talk about how great something looks in a game I want to scream out, “You know GOD created a pretty neat game environment TOO! It’s called the UNIVERSE!”

And why can they go on and on and on about something in a game but try to get them into a movie or board game and they come back with, ‘that’s not real.’

And why, oh Lord please help me with this one, WHY are kids today so against going outside and getting dirty and, MORE OVER why are they so against being dirty yet still won’t take a shower.

Why do boys think their socks are still fresh after the 5th day of wear? PLEASE CHANGE YOUR SOCKS!

Ok, I may have gone off track a bit too far but I really want to know.

I did bring up the idea to my fiancée of having a day with no internet and no video games and she was all for it. One weekday a week and one weekend day a month of nothing but listening to the child repeat ‘I’m bored…I’m bored…I’m bored’ in an OCD, slightly sociopathic type way.

But it will get better, right? It must. Eventually they will enjoy playing board games and interacting with faces that aren’t digitized on a screen or even going outside and throwing a ball. Do people still know how to throw a ball? I mean normal non-athletic people. So I guess I should have asked do people still know how to make a ball go through the air in a direction away from them in an awkward, throwing type motion?

Well fingers crossed that we get through a media free day without any fatalities so that they can grow up and have little evil munchkins, I mean lovely children, of their own.


4 thoughts on “Parentally Challenged

  1. motherofgeeks

    love this one, hits the nail on the head,,,, tommy was telling me something & I couldn’t catch all of it, and I realized that it was all about another video game, and I said ‘if you can’t talk about something besides a video game, please don’t talk’…. and he shut up…. I said ‘how are you doing in school’ ad he said ‘fine’…. sad….. what do I want for my grandchildren? for them to want to go outside & get filthy, and to gripe about coming inside at nightfall, then gripe about taking a shower,,,, let me know how your tech free day goes…. maybe i’ll talk to your brother about one for them,,,,, like that will happen….


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