The Truth About Superman

I have been doing some research and have some disturbing information for you.

What I researched was the super man himself, Superman. Superman would have us believe that he is from a planet ‘Krypton’, and was sent here by his father when he was just a baby. He landed in a town called Smallville and was raised by a simple farm couple. He then went on to help save people in the large city of Metropolis.

Well I’m sorry but I have discovered some flaws in his story. First off, there is no major metropolis named Metropolis. No really, I looked it up, it doesn’t exist. And his lies don’t stop there. There is no Smallville that I can find, honestly it sounds made up. A small town called SMALLVILLE? Suspicious.

Then he would have us believe he can change his entire appearance to where you wouldn’t recognize him just by wearing some nerdy glasses. We are to believe he wears a unitard, with his underwear on the outside and a cape on, inside his ‘everyday’ suit. Sorry but even for a ‘super man’ this would be hot and uncomfortable.

He apparently also lives in an ice cave that NO ONE can find called the fortress of solitude. He says he can fly, run faster than a train, and stop a speeding bullet. He let us know that he once went back in time to save the world, but who could disprove him? It’s not like we would know he went back in time after he went back in time.

No, it is a dark day when I have to report, in light of all these facts, that Superman is NOT real. This superhero is no more real than Batman who supposedly lives in Gotham. They are fakes, unlike Spiderman who is most OBVIOUSLY real. I checked this out too, Spiderman lives in New York and was bitten by a spider to get his powers. I found out New York exists, TWICE, as a state and a city, as do Spiders and spiders DO bite people.

To sum up, Superman-Fake; Batman-Fake; Spiderman-Real.


7 thoughts on “The Truth About Superman

  1. Jon Rista

    Superman? No! He was directly powered by the sun. The only things on Earth directly powered by the sun are the things that photosynthesize… Plants are also directly affected by the mineral content in their surroundings…they get good minerals, its like gold kryptonite, bad minierals, its like green kryptonite! Which really makes him Superplant! ;P

    1. Good Geek Ranting Post author

      You know I thought about Conan and you when I was writing that. I used to watch Conan when I was little because my brother was very into it but I haven’t in so long it wouldn’t work out well.


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