5 Things You Never Knew You Didn’t Want to Know


Fact You Didn’t Know – 1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on T.V.
Why You Didn’t Want to Know – If 1 in 4 have been on T.V. and you know 20 people, 5 of them have been on Cops. When is it going to be your turn to run from the police in a wife beater screaming that you only hit your spouse because you love them.

Fact You Didn’t Know – The average computer worker types 90,000 keystrokes in an 8-hour work shift.
Why You Didn’t Want to Know – The average computer worker could bust out a novel a day and you’ve been stuck on the same page of your masterpiece for more than a month. Maybe you just need someone standing over your shoulder telling you stories about how drunk they got last night and you’d get it done today.

Fact You Didn’t Know – It isn’t a “big band” unless it has 14 different instruments.
Why You Didn’t Want to Know – The term ‘ensemble’ doesn’t sound as cool for your 13 piece band and you don’t want to hire an 8th flautist.

Fact You Didn’t Know – A gozzard is a person who owns geese.
Why You Didn’t Want to Know – No matter how many times you tell this to your family, they still just call you crazy for owning geese.

Fact You Didn’t Know – Grocery shoppers spend an average of 8 minutes waiting in line at the supermarket.
Why You Didn’t Want to Know – If you go to the grocery store twice a week, in just ten years you have spent 138 hours just queuing in line. That’s not counting everywhere else you would have queued. And now, that means you’ve spent 138 hours in 10 years posting Facebook statuses that explain how you are standing in line.

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