It’s so quiet in here. It’s that kind of calm serene quiet that relaxes you, soothes you, and makes you hate every noise going on outside.
A construction truck is backing up. Beep, beep, beep goes the construction truck as it backs up.
I hate construction trucks.
A semi is traveling down the highway. It just hit its Jake Brake.
I hate jake brakes.
The neighbors upstairs are fighting again. “You’re mean. You’re drunk. You cheat. You fart a lot.”
I hate neighbors.
A police siren is blaring down the road. “Weee wooo wee woo wee woo wee woo”
I hate police sirens.
The woman in the apartment behind me is apparently hanging 1000 pictures in her bedroom next to mine. “Hammer hammer hammer… Hammer hammer hammer…”
I hate hammers.
A car alarm is going off downstairs. Car alarms only point out who can sleep through anything. Why is the answer always the car alarm car’s owner.
I hate car alarms.
Now a bird is chirping. Chirp chirp chirp. Chirp chirp chirp. The bird chirps louder. Chirp chirp chirp.
I hate chirpy birds ruining my quiet.
Chirp chirp chirp. Chirp chirp POP SQUAWK!
The squawk was even louder than my BB Gun. Now, where’s that car alarm owner.