Ode To an Air Dryer

O hand air dryer,
Why do you suck so,
It seems so counter intuitive,
I mean, you were MADE to BLOW!

But while blow you do,
I still tend to wonder why,
People say you’re better,
When you can’t even get my hands dry.

I try and I try,
Really I do,
But I still end up wet,
What a load of poo.

The towel doesn’t fail me,
The towel gets it right,
You’ve let me down again, air dryer,
And I am on a date tonight.

Sometimes I ignore you,
Leave you alone in your failure,
But you go on persisting,
My waning interest you endure.

And other times I get too close,
Excitedly you start to blow and blow,
But it was just an accident air dryer,
Really, my dates waiting, I just have to go.

Don’t feel bad,
Don’t you fret,
There’ll be other hands,
Here’s a guy now, he’ll use you I bet.

But for me it’s over,
For me it’s all but done,
In your battle of nature vs technology,
Once again the Ewoks won.


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