Today I sit and blog to you from a Denny’s in Tulsa, OK. A recent excursion to explore the possibilities of a job outside of where I was currently living has led me into unfamiliar surroundings with eerily familiar and comforting feelings.
Yesterday morning I awoke early yet again. Somewhere around 6 AM (I slept in) and my nerves were growing worse and worse. I started running over my list of things I had to do before I could leave town and head towards my interview slated for 1 PM. Of course I have a ghetto-mobile so I was worried about tires and its overall ability. Don’t get me wrong, it actually runs great, when it does run. But I always buy used tires (Tires are expensive… Its so ironic, don’t buy expensive new rubbers for your car, and you could lose a life… Don’t buy cheap rubbers for the bedroom, and you could create one… I don’t know where I’m going with that, it sounded better in my head…) Anywho, so here I am worried I’m going to have to buy 2 tires for my car, I also find out the 2 pawns I have out are overdue… I can’t lose them as they are items that mean more to me than almost everything. (The closest thing to family air-looms I could have.) so there are more expenses.
Of course I already did not really have enough to make the trip and secure temporary housing for the week as well. Now it was looking worse by the minute.
Overwhelmed as the realization of everything that was happening hit me; from last year losing my family, home, job, friends, to now leaving the town I not only grew up in but also have spent the last 7 or 8 years of my life… some of the most significant times of my life no less. I broke down… Life, it got the best of me yesterday morning.
I paid the pawns and eventually go the nerve to go to one of the used tire places I trust as it could cost me a lot more (job possibly) to not get them changed if they needed it. Miraculously the grease-covered Angel told me all the tires could make the trip. I didn’t owe him anything but I gave him 2 dollars for his time anyway… not for his time, scratch that. For my peace of mind. A small weight lifted.
Then the trip started. It’s not a long trip, just under 2 hours with no stops, but with every mile closer my mind became more and more clear. My soul grew lighter and more optimistic. Even as I went over questions I thought might be asked of me in the interview there was this great calm that came over me. I wasn’t nervous. In fact, I was driving home.
As I got into town, I knew it was true. Whether I get the job or not, this is my new home. It’s so hard to explain, I know no one here… have never spent anytime in the city so I don’t know my way around or what the parts of the city are… And am hundreds of miles from my son. And yet, I knew this was where I was supposed to be.
As I wait now to find the results of my interview I spend the week in transition. What is coming? What will I be doing? Who will I meet? Will I have more friends than normal (1 or less, lol)? Will I meet my future family here? None of it matters… I am calm for now. All the stress of everything that happened in 2011 is melting away.
Life: Next chapter begins in 3…2…1…