The Geek Gets Hungry

Yesterday I ‘cheated’ on my post in that I pasted a story I had written a few months ago… I not only ‘cheated’ by not actually writing a new blog post but also by trying and reversing the heavier mood of my post the day before that. Of course, life isn’t like that. You can’t just ‘always’ choose to do something other than what life has in store for you.

Yesterday was also a full, exciting, roller-coaster of emotions day. My cousins took me to Tulsa so that I could do prelim testing for a call-center job. Call-centers having become my bailiwick over the last 4 1/2 years makes the job prospect comforting while the thought of moving away from my current ‘home town’ does not. Granted, I don’t actually have anyone or anything here to cling to other than my son and the ultimate move would be to OKC (the actual location of the job I’ve applied for) which I’ve lived in many times before and yet still, this time it seems overwhelming.

But then, that’s the ticket now isn’t it. Everything has seemed overwhelming over the last couple of months. Indeed just taking the trip to Tulsa, doing the test and talking with my cousins along the way was all so ‘extravagant’ for a ‘bum’ such as myself. To add to the excitement, I was one of the first people done with the testing (as I had figured would be the case, its not atypical for me), I was beaten by about 30 seconds by a woman who was there testing as well. When we both got up from our computer desks at the same time she asked, “Have you worked in a Call Center before?” I answered yes and we quickly exchanged mini-CV’s over our previous experience while we waited to be told our results.

Back in the waiting room she was still there (I had let her get her results first, after all she had beaten me by 30 seconds) and we struck up a conversation. She also had an android phone and we had a common interest in our love of Googles Android OS and our mutual disdain for iPhones. She referred to herself as a geek multiple times and I was taken by her charm and nerdiness immediately. Of course, she also mentioned a boyfriend and yet I still reveled in the whole exchange, lasting around 10 minutes at most, as being the most friendly chatter I’ve had with a female in person in over 5 months. I actually allowed myself to imagine how nice it would be if we were both hired and both placed in the same training class how it would be comforting to have someone, ANYONE, there that I could connect to and not feel SO alone and out-of-place.

Before I had left for the trip, I installed Kindle for Android on my phone and loaded a dozen or so books I have been wanting to read for a while now on to it. It won’t come as much surprise to most of you that I’m not an “avid” reader but don’t get me wrong, I love a great book. What ended up happening, while waiting to begin testing (My cousin was successful in getting me there early) was I started reading a book that I have been told to read many many times before but haven’t had the chance or had something else I was reading at the time. The book is called ‘The Hunger Games’.

A lot of times, when I like but not love a book, I read it fairly slow… in my downtime, during quiet hours, bathroom reading, what have you. A few times I have really busted through books rather quickly… LOTR took me a week. The 5 Hitchhikers books (+ 1) took me about 3 weeks as I had taken a break at some point. The 7th HP book took about 3 days. I finished this book within 26 hours… That was with sleep time, visiting at a friend’s house, and traveling back from Tulsa. I can’t actually recall the last time I was this engrossed in a book.

But, it was more than that. I have been moved by books, of course. A select few have moved me to outward displays of emotion. This book tore me to the core and reaffirmed that I have emotions to deal with right now that stem far beyond any amount of [insert media form here] should really have to hold up. At one point I found myself going from tearing up, to laughing out loud (LIT-TRULL-LEE), and back to tearing up in the span of a page or two. I was drawn into the story, the lives, the emotions almost from the very beginning.

(BEGIN SPOILER?) This culminated into what I actually found was a far change of emotion… I was angered at Kat for not being able to choose a guy by the end of the book… of crushing the dreams of this guy who had done everything for her since she left for the games… opened his heart to her and invited her in… Betrayed, betrayed, betrayed. This person I was once rooting for I was now silently cursing in disgust.

(END SPOILER?) Of course, that’s great. The fact that I was so vested in these characters lives to feel something so wholeheartedly says a lot.

This morning, (around 60% book completion) I had been up for about 5 hours, since 4 AM and was getting hungry. I checked my bankcard website… still nothing. When 2011 started, I had everything I could have wanted. A wife, a great job, and step kids that started really digging me. I had the chance to teach the boy how to PhotoChop and use windows Movie Maker, and the girl and I enjoyed watching girlie movies and eating popcorn. If she had a nightmare she would come and cuddle up in bed and fall asleep in my arms… I was on top of the world at the beginning of 2011.

At the beginning of 2012, I have no family, I have no job, I have no home, I am empty and alone. When you are on such an empty budget, 20 dollars can be half of your food budget for the week, if not more. That’s what it was this week as an erroneous charge hit my card at the beginning of the week. Its being reversed but not yet. Right now I look at empty pantries, empty fridge, empty stomach. It’s all feeling ironic considering my current reading material and makes everything seem so much more real. I find there is a food pantry open in my town today and I call to make sure I can go get some food.

Of course, I only really have a microwave to cook with (There is a stove, but I have no pots or pans) so I don’t get  a whole lot but they give me enough to get me through to my next payment. For the first time in my life I have gone to a food pantry for myself. Having to go because you have a job but a family of 5 and it’s just hard to feed them all feels bad enough, not being able to take care of yourself feels so much worse. I have always taken care of myself very well since I started full-time work at 18. Now I struggle to make sense of everything that’s going on and cling to hope of a job at a call-center out-of-town or various other jobs I continue to apply at each week.

When I started this blog, I was determined to keep all personal items off of it other than what I like or don’t like as a geek in the world of Arts & Entertainment. Over the last week a lot more has been pouring out and its becoming more important to me as a personal (de)vice in the absence of being able to work everyday or play guitar all the time.


16 thoughts on “The Geek Gets Hungry

  1. booksnob

    I didn’t mean to shame you into re-posting your comment. I wasn’t sure if I’d dreamed it, or what (I had some really weird blogging/reading dreams last night).

    I hate commenting on other people’s posts from my phone because I can’t go back and edit it later, but then there are times when it’s hours before I get back on my laptop and I hate thinking that they think I’ve forgotten about them.

    Anyway. My blog was originally going to be snarky stuff about the books I read, with an occasional “this band is better than this band and here’s why” post. I still do the Trashy Tuesday stuff (which, really, are some of my favourite posts to write), but it’s kind of evolved into something different. I still primarily talk about books, and I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t talk a lot of crap, but sometimes…I feel like talking about other things.

    I don’t know. It’s really hard to open up, even if only a handful of people I know outside of blogging know that I’m even doing this.

      1. g00dg33kranting Post author

        I liked the second book, but nothing in either it or the first 18 percent of book 3 has moved me like the first one. That is other than piss me off.
        I haven’t heard of this other book you speak of, what is it about and who is it by, I’ll see if I have it

        1. booksnob

          I can’t remember the author’s name right now and it’s driving me crazy. If I leave this tab to go look it up, I’ll lose my comment. I’ll look it up for you when I’m back on the laptop. It’s a Japanese book from the late 90s. 42 high school students are on a study trip when their bus is gassed and they wake up on an island wearing tracking collars. They’re told this is an experiment and only one will live through it, if no one dies in the first 24 hours, ALL collars will detonate.

          Like, pre-Hunger Games, post-Long Walk, but all three are very similar.

          1. g00dg33kranting Post author

            OH! And I figured out why I hated / still kinda of hate / Kat so much… It was mentioned even in a blog post on InsatiableBooksluts about how to ruin your young adult fantasy novel… It mentions one thing to make it bad is to have the Teens act like adults… Well, this isn’t the case in the Games, of course, Kat is very much a teenager and that frustrated me throughout… Her ignorance and indecision and impulsiveness… *I* wanted to slap her. Lol, but like I said before, that just goes to show how well that part was written…

            I did finish it, not totally sure how I feel about the ending, but I liked the 3rd book (At least the 3rd act of the 3rd book) better than the second.

          1. g00dg33kranting Post author

            Well, I just checked through my mass of e-books and I don’t have that one… You mentioned earlier how it was similar to Games and Long Walk… I thought that fitting here because as I was reading the first book everything was seemingly contrived from either 1984 (Capitol = Big Brother) or the Long Walk (All her accounts of the Games in the Arena and talking about how there is no normal after its over even if she wins.) Of course, I haven’t read Long Walk since I was 8 or 9? Maybe 10. Its been a lonnnnng time…

            Not quite the same, but also a negative Utopian novel, have you read ‘The Lathe of Heaven?’ I liked it a lot.

            And lastly, I just have to find out if you can come up with the name of a book or the author… Its something I read, hmmm, 8 or 9 years ago and I was blown away by it… But the name of the book had almost nothing to do with the book itself so I can never remember it. Anyway, after some human existence fallout (Nuclear maybe?) everyone lived in a garden. A perfect garden and everyone was a clone. All the boys looked alike and all the girls looked alike (There may have been 2 or 3 variations of ‘twins’ on each side) and they all had the same names even, as I recall.
            There was a lot of concern about the ability to reproduce… how the more they were cloned the less likely they could actually reproduce sexually, if I recall right, and thus they had to clone more.
            Well, of course none of this perfection set right with one or two of them and a group left the garden to see if there was anything on the other side of the valley…

            I REALLY want to say that the title (is definitely long, like a partial sentence) has something to do with a songbird or a flower… like the title where the red fern grows, but not that obviously.

            Ok, so how crazy is all of that then, huh?

    1. g00dg33kranting Post author

      Lol, no you didn’t shame me. I was half heartedly joking about that. My mind has not been working right. I’ve done nothing but read this series for a day and a half so anytime I try to sleep I dream about it. And actually I have hada lot of blogging dreams too weird stuff.

  2. booksnob

    I don’t want to sound like we’re at a meeting, but really thanks for sharing.

    Thumbs held for you to get the job! I hope the woman you tested with gets the job too. It’s always nice to have a friend to go through training with.

        1. g00dg33kranting Post author

          When I woke up this morning, well, after reading some more and finally deciding to get on WP, I looked at my comment that I had written on my phone and saw it riddled with spelling errors and erroneous words. I don’t like this so I edited it and fixed everything that was wrong. But, another part of me just wasn’t happy with the comment at all because I do come off sounding like a broken record and I was a little embarrassed by it. Assuming no one had seen the comment, a rather easy conclusion since no one really read that post in the first place, and didn’t seem to overnight, I finally trashed it and wrote a new one. You did see it, you aren’t crazy, and here it is again anyway, despite my best efforts. lol.. (By the way, around 70% into book 2 and I am really having trouble to stop hating catnip… I realize it is probably a unique feeling given my recent issues with women at large, including those close to me, but its kind of frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, the book is amazing, I just can’t get over my disdain for her choices)

          It’s ok, iI appreciate it an(d) on the other side I don’t want to doing sound like a broken record (but I well will anyway, right? ) but thanks [really goes] to you, cliche, and diane as you have at any given point either challenged me to think more, feel more, read more, open up more.
          This has become less about sharing and trying to make an entertaining blog to more being a deep look inside myself. It’s crazy. Well Will it stay that way? I don’t know. But that makes it more organic, right?

          (edited) Ok so now I remember why I don’t like commenting from my phone… Gotta remember to turn Swype off when I do, at least.


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